Monday, August 15, 2011

A Third Tale of Three Tommys

First: ^click the Follow Button to observe my twitterings
Second: Read The First Part of this conversation <here>
Third: Read The Second Part of this conversation <here>

Having recently moved into a new apartment, the Tommys once again assemble to discuss their new living situation.

Florida Tommy (FLT): This apartment is fantastic! SO much room for activities!
American Tommy (AmT): Football’s back.
French Tommy (FrT): Yes, your team just tied Mexico.
AmT: Wrong football, Garcon.
FrT: Well you should be studying your French anyway.
FLT: No Joke, need to take that test soon, also wouldn’t be a terrible idea to brush up on Middle Eastern Studies, Ethics, and 20th Century Christian History.
AmT: Football. Is. Back. On. T. V.
FrT: You’ve found time to lift weights, you can find time to review and relearn the last four years of higher education that you forgot while busing tables at the golf club.
AmT: a.)I’ve barely worked out – the FSU student gym is closed for a couple weeks and the apartment workout room doesn’t have very heavy weights – dumbbells only go up to 40 and I need my hundoz brah! b.) I’ve gotta figure out a strategy for upcoming fantasy football drafts.
FLT: Was that plural? As in more than one fantasy football league? You don’t have time for that.
AmT: We are an excellent multi-tasker.
FrT: He’s not wrong.
AmT: Plus I’ll spend most of my time typing up notes on my laptop and reading articles online, what do you care if I have a Mozilla window minimized with some fantasy football related information in it? Frenchy did it with the NCAA tournament a couple years ago.
FLT: Fair enough, but if it gets to be too much you have to ignore Creasman’s league first, then Bob's VCU Biostat Friends, then the Mercke League if it gets to be way too much.
AmT: Baloney, I’m not losing to the Paris Hilton of Sausage again, I need to beat Tobias and Mercer, and Team T and A has a championship to defend.
FrT: Paris?
AmT: Long story, mon ami – oh, you’d be proud: I had cheese on a baguette before dinner the other night.
FrT: Oui? A sweet Brie, perhaps? A Camembert?
AmT: It was this cheese at a local hippie market that’s made with mustard and beer – so good.
FrT: That doesn’t count.
FLT: It was pretty good.
AmT: How you like them pommes, FarT?
FLT: The cheese was good, but you really should be studying.
AmT: I got a rewards card for the local liquor store.
FrT: That isn’t studying, either.
AmT: I bought “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Ethics.”
FLT: Did you read it?
AmT: Working on it.
FrT: You are getting a PhD in ethics and your prep is reading a guide for idiots?
AmT: Well, kind of. I’m also brushing up on Egyptian political situations and American Religious history…
FLT: Don’t flunk out, I don’t want to move back to Georgia.
FrT: And I don’t want to bus tables anymore.
AmT: I’m not gonna hold you guys back that much, but you gotta leave room for me to beat the Paris Hilton of Sausage in fantasy football, maintain Abbey and my Mercke Football League Championship, eat cheese made with beer, lift weights, and go to the liquor store.
FLT: Not unless you agree to get along with French Tommy. He’s more studious than you, graduated from AUP with a very high GPA, and can help you focus your intellectual energies into more than just fantasy football.
AmT: I know, I already paid homage to him in my home office.
FrT: All you did was hang up pictures of Les Bleus’ catastrophe in the last world cup
AmT: I know! That was hilarious, the team imploded, the coach got fired – one of my better memories from the year in France was sitting by the Eiffel Tower watching the Coupe du Monde while hearing all the French people lament their teams pitiful showing. If only I had a framed picture of Zizu’s tete-butt.
FLT: Well…fair enough, that was amusing.
FrT: You are both from a country where Michelle Bachman is considered a frontrunner to challenge Barack Obama for the presidency.
[Florida and American Tommy hang their heads]
FrT: What, no witty retort? In that case, at least finish your idiot book before you do any fantasy footballing.
FLT: That’s not a bad idea.
AmT: Shut up, I get cable now and I’m going to use it to watch Sportscenter.
FLT: Fine…but School’s starting soon and I’m not going back to the golf club.
AmT: Well then shut up and let me read.
FrT: Don’t screw this up.
AmT: Shut up.
FLT: Thanks for reading.

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