After their last exchange left Florida Tommy attempting to find common ground between French Tommy and American Tommy, American Tommy has presented French Tommy with another picture of American Tommy trying on French Tommy’s clothes that no longer fit as well. This picture prompted the following conversation.
[Picture deleted due to common decency violation]
French Tommy (FrT): I see you’ve not only given in to the American insistence that baseball caps are socially acceptable but are also embracing the fairly recent skinnyjean phenomenon
American Tommy (AmT): Look again Francois – these jeans used to fit you great.
FrT: For the love of God do not put that picture on the internet.
[Picture once again deleted for aforementioned violation of common decency]
AmT: What’s wrong Toulouse? Offended by your own ill-fitting apparel? You’re lucky I’m not demonstrating the less-than-sterling fit of the square foot of cheap fabric and elastic you French folk call “boxer shorts”
FrT: Inappropriate.
Florida Tommy: Would you two quit it? We move on Wednesday. I am exercising veto power on the picture of the tight jeans, btw…why would you strike that pose in the first place?
AmT: I was mocking Zinedine over there.
FrT: Go eat a cheeseburger you arrogant twit.
AmT: Shove some foie gras up…
FLT: You two are more juvenile and petty than the US Congress.
AmT: They aren’t being juvenile and petty, as a Moderate I fully appreciate that compromise takes time.
FrT: They are compromising…yeah, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn is a gentleman.
FLT: Common ground! You both find joy in the mocking of your homelands!
FrT: Isn’t your state of Florida the one with that Qur’an burning man?
AmT: Yeah! The guy with the moustache!
FrT: Mon Dieu…
FLT: Can we focus on getting along?
AmT: Remember Hanging Chads? They were in Florida too!
FrT: HaHa! Florida officials don’t know how to count ballots!
FLT: That joke was so 2000.
FrT: And ze giant Mickey Mouse Land!
AmT: Hahaha
FLT: There’s a Disneyland in Paris too, Pepe Lepieu.
AmT: Yes! Now you’re stooping to our level, way to be the voice of reason, why don’t you take your talents to south beach and lose an NBA title.
FLT: Speaking of sports, how are the Atlanta Thrashers doing?
FrT: What is a Thrasher?
AmT: Exactly, even French people think Hockey is a dumb sport.
FrT: What is the Hockey?
AmT: It’s like soccer but lower scoring, on ice, and only Russians and Canadians play it.
FLT: Sorry I brought it up. Is there any chance of you two not making fun of me or the great state of Florida anymore?
FrT: The Great State of Florida is phallic.
AmT: Pfffahahaha!
FLT: Inappropriate!
[American Tommy wipes tears of laughter from his eyes and high fives French Tommy]
FLT: You two need to be punished. I’m signing you up for twitter.
FrT: What is a twitter?
AmT: I’m already on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Google+, and I have a blog.
FrT: We have a blog.
AmT: Fine, our blog, I…we…don’t need another social media outlet in which to indulge.
FLT: You’re signed up.
AmT: We aren’t friends anymore.
FLT: Want to hashtag that? It may trend.
FrT: I am confused.
AmT: I’m not happy about this.
FLT: What’s wrong @tjcTBA? [shameless plug to follow Tommy on twitter]
AmT: That’s not even original, just my initials and my blog name.
FrT: Our blog name.
AmT: Oh…wait… so I can follow @ericcreasman on this thing? Can’t be all bad, this might actually be kind of fun.
FLT: This is a punishment you Georgia weightlifting hillbilly!
FrT: I don’t understand it.
AmT: Even better.
FLT: You two are hopeless.
AmT: There’s three of us now, Mr. Seminole.
FrT: Why do so many of your sports teams poke fun at Native Americans?
FLT: Spectacular.
AmT: Hahaha, Frenchie’s getting funnier by the minute, I’m going to the gym.
FLT: Meathead.
FrT: Muscleneck.
AmT: Go tweet yourselves.
FLT: That doesn’t even make sense.
AmT: Nice mediation job – better luck next time.
FrT: Merci d’avoir lu.
FLT: Thanks for reading.
FrT: I just said that…you’re going to fail your French test.
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