Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Tommys Take a Deep Breath

After 10 days of classes the Tommys reconvene to discuss progress made towards acclimating to Florida and putting up with their annoyingly more ambitious and studious self.

American Tommy (AmT): It's Football Season.
French Tommy (FrT): Yes, your team has lost to Football powerhouses Costa Rica and Belgium.
AmT: That's soccer. We've been through this. Nobody plays Fantasy Soccer.
Florida Tommy (FLT): I hope you aren't going to put too much time into Fantasy Football this season, I've got way too much reading, writing, and grading to do.
AmT: I will devote as much time as I need to win all three leagues.
FLT: Three? That's not funny.
AmT: Yes. Three. Trois. Tlaate.
FLT: Tlaate?
AmT: Looks like I pay better attention in Arabic class than you do, sucka, get off my case.
FrT: He's got you there, Florida.
FLT: No! No he doesn't I just...I've got so much else to concentrate on - several books per week, classes every day, TA responsibilities...I can't do it all.
AmT: Just doing my part, now let me set my roster for the week.
FLT: But we have work to do.
AmT: Work? Your 'work' right now consists of sitting in a reading room putting a tally mark on a sheet of paper any time someone walks in.
FLT: And answering their questions about FSU history and the renovations to the Werkmeister Reading Room!
FrT: A noble pursuit indeed.
AmT: Isn't that the room in which they are hoping to convince rich alumni to donate more to the university?
FLT: And preserve the rich history of the institution by creating space for historical photos, documents, and beautiful stained glass.
AmT: Aren't they going to host some Religion department things there too? I hope there's an open bar again.
FrT: Except you drank nothing but whiskey at the last one.
AmT: You bet I did, I'm not drinking free vin rouge when there's free whiskey!
FLT: Point taken.
AmT: We're doing fine, none of the professors think we're idiots yet, we've kept up with the readings, discussions have been lively, hell, I've even been able to get my swell on three days a week! Florida - you need to take a deep breath and relax.
FLT: You need to turn your jersey shore "it's t-shirt time" ringtone off during class, everyone's going to think we're idiots
FrT: That was embarrassing.
AmT: Relax. Breathe.
FLT: Fine.

[The Tommys take a deep breath]

AmT: Better?
FLT: Kind of. It's still going to be a busy semester, with Islamic Theology, Philosophy, and Law, plus Theory and Method in the Study of Religon, plus TAing Religious Ethics and learning Arabic.
FrT: Don't forget your reading room responsibilities.
FLT: And the Werkmeister reading room and FSU Museum.
AmT: But we'll be able to do it, right?
FrT: Oui.
FLT: Yes.
AmT: Good, well, now that you are better, I've got some business to tend to. I need a new picture for Team T and A - Tommy and Abbey's Fantasy Football Team...get it? - and I have to get it from a website so I'm going to post it here.

FrT: Is that really necessary?
AmT: Na'am.
FrT: what?
FLT: It means yes...the American is figuring out how to study.
FrT: Stop that.
FLT: Please stop that.
AmT: Can't stop won't stop.
FLT: I really wish you'd take life more seriously.
FrT: I, also, wish this for you.
AmT: ...boogers.

thanks for reading.