Answering a Higher Call

There are no words to describe the importance of the endeavor of which I will, today, be in pursuit. I will attempt a feat the likes of which have never been attempted or completed in the history of humanity as far as this blog is concerned. My wife says it’s both a waste of time and a silly idea. I say that there exists a fine line between stupidity and greatness and I plan to have a foot on each side. I will see sights few have seen and smell smells that few would be able to stomach. I will spend a majority of my day underground taking in every aspect of my damp, dark, odiferous surroundings. Today, beginning at the Bastille, I will ascend the Metro’s 1 Line…and ride it to the 2 Line…to the 3 Line, to the 3bis Line, back to the 3 Line and beyond until I have ridden each of Paris’ 16 Metro Lines – including 3bis and 7bis – in numerical order. But wait, my adventure will just be beginning – upon my descent from the 14 Line at Bibliotheque Fr. Mitterand I will proceed to ride all 5 RER lines that roar through the city like untamed beasts. The road will be long, the battles not easy, but this is a mission I must complete for the common good of every man, woman, and child who has ever dreamed of being a part of something bigger than themselves…and to avoid having to look for jobs.

There will be challenges to overcome, but armed with a purse full of supplies and two Master’s degrees in fields mostly unrelated to the Paris metro, I will use my god-given creative capacities for problem solving, my unsurpassed wit and wisdom, and my metro map to conquer any and all who stand between myself and my lofty goal. The 10 line doesn’t connect to the 11 line? At all? Well, my loyal readers, it will today. Today, I will not be scouring the websites of churches and non-profit agencies in search of an occupation; no: today I will be in search of a higher purpose. In the past four years I have Mastered Divinity and I have Mastered the Middle East and Islam. Today: I Master the Metro.



Wish me luck and Thanks for reading.

UPDATE: I spent 5 hours and 32 minutes on the Metro, roughly the last four hours or so entirely underground. 16 up. 16 Down. In numerical order. Success. No RER at the end though. More to come.