Thursday, October 8, 2009

Paul is a Liar

It has come to my attention that it is a partial duty of mine as a member of what is known as “the blogosphere” to recommend websites and other blogs of my friends to those of you, my readers, who may not know my friends, frequent the same web sites, or have as much spare time on your hands. Enter Paul.

I have a friend named Paul. While Paul and I are by no means the closest of friends, in college we did attend many of the same social functions, donated money to the same semesterly slush fund, and wore t-shirts that had the same letters on them creating an unbreakable fraternal bond. Paul is a retired pizza delivery guy and, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure what he does now. What I am sure of is that he is a dirty, dirty liar.

Paul has started a blog entitled: “The Running Jerks.” Yes there are two people listed as authors of that blog. Yes there are two names in the site address. But don’t be fooled. You see, Paul – as stated previously – is a liar.

First: His blog is about his quest to run a marathon. Fact: Paul doesn’t run, Paul reads comic books. Paul is the reason that the good folks who invented the Segway were able to illustrate that they did, indeed, have what is known as a target market. The only time I have ever seen Paul run is…I don’t think I have – he does, however, throw a great party and is quite adept at tossing a ping pong ball into a beverage filled Dixie cup located about 10 feet from his person.

Second: There are two names on his blog, and two people claim to be writing it. Fact: I think Paul made this “Mike” character up. He never posts and when he does it usually serves the purpose of emphasizing the arduous workouts Paul is undergoing as opposed to the inactivity of “Mike.” Being that Paul has proven himself to be a liar by claiming to be a “runner,” adding an imaginary friend to his blog is not beyond the realm of possibilities.

So why am I letting you know of this delusional liar’s quest to run a dreamed-up marathon? Well, liar or not, Paul is doing it for a good cause, encouraging his readers as I now encourage you to go to Paul’s FirstGiving page (see this blog post) and donate because, since Paul is a liar, you will probably end up getting your money back in addition to giving to charity.

While I don’t condone lying – I would never dream of using this blog to exaggerate or lie about my life’s events! – I do condone charity work which appears, for now, to be the purpose of Paul’s fictional blog.

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