The Sights, Sounds, and Smells of Paris’ 16 Metro Lines Part 3

The Sound of Metro

With less than a week left of my existence as an inhabitant of the city of lights, it is quite tempting to write a somber, reflective piece, but instead I have decided to continue to describe – in perhaps too much detail – that fateful day I spent on the metro. As I waited to begin my journey I heard cheers as reggae music began to play above me (you will recall that the Bastille station for the one line is open air but below street level). I couldn’t see what was going on, but the music nearly drew me away from my mission like what I imagined to be a dreadlocked pied French piper. Shortly after I boarded the train I heard a startling, yet somewhat soothing woman’s voice. She sounded remarkably similar to my father’s GPS device, only with a French accent. She was in charge of reading all of the stops as the train stopped at them, kind of a boring job, if you ask me…then again, I remain unemployed so GPS/Metro reader lady is a couple steps ahead of me. She actually worked on several different metro lines and even in some stations – reminding me to “mind the gap” at the stop “Arts et Metiers” as passengers disembarked the 3 line. Perhaps she is in charge of the metro…I’ll have to look into this at a later date.

46 minutes after I began my journey I was treated to the most pleasant sound of all: Silence. I had a train all to myself on the 3bis for two entire stops. As I waited to board the four line I heard someone speaking gibberish at me and looked up to see a very confused young man. Upon quick reflection I recognized this gibberish as French and began to instinctively reply “je ne parle pas le francais, je suis desole” but then a little voice in my head shouted: “you’ve been here for nine months, damn it, give it a shot.” Once again, I gave in to the voices. The confused gentleman was asking which direction the train was going (little did he know he was consulting an expert!), I told him which direction the train was headed, he replied “merci,” and we went our merry ways. Good for me. Shortly thereafter I heard a strange voice over the loudspeakers of line 5 – it was not the gentle GPS/Metro lady I had come to know and love, but a gruff French man who mumbled and spoke too fast. Then the train stopped. I can only assume the voice and stoppage were related but have no idea how. Three minutes later he spoke again and many on the train left. I did what I do in most situations – convince myself that I know what I am doing and ignorantly sit there. A few minutes later the train started moving again. I win.

Two lines later, on the seven line, I was privy to the greatest sound I had heard yet – an overweight Frenchman with a fanny pack full of amplifiers attached to his microphone and his guitar singing “Hit the Road, Jacques.” Good for him. At 2:07 another grouchy French person’s voice came over the loudspeakers, except this time on the 9 line…the train stopped AND the lights went out. 5 minutes later the French person spoke again and literally every passenger except for me got off the train. There was a group of very confused Spanish-speaking folks who looked downright petrified. I, of course, kept my cool. Two minutes later the lights went on, the “get all body parts away from the doors” buzzer buzzed and the Spanish speakers and I were off. Then, again, at 2:46 on the 10 line I heard a third French person’s voice say something as the train screeched to a halt and the lights went off. Nobody moved or spoke for 3 entire minutes. The lights went on, the train moved to the next stop and a rather loud gentleman beside me leapt from the train, thrust his arms into the air and proclaimed “Boys and Girls: It’s SHOWTIME!” I believe he even did spirit fingers. I giggled heartily.

On the thirteen line, I heard shouting…which was odd, considering there was nearly nobody on the train. I saw a woman and a man in a physical altercation over a seat…I repeat on a nearly empty train. It must have been quite a comfy seat. At each stop on the last two lines the GPS/Metro lady sang her sweet song announcing the stops creating a wonderful symmetry to my journey. I had heard many things – some soothing, others annoying, and still others startling but the metro trip was certainly an auditory treat…olfactorily speaking, however, this trip was no walk in a sweet-smelling park. Stay tuned for the final installment: The Sights, Sounds, and Smells of Paris’ 16 Metro Lines Part 4: The Metro is Like a Box of Chocolates, except it smells like pee.

As always ,thanks for reading.