A One Act Play

My nametag said “Thomas J. Carrico, Jr, American University of Paris, Center for Islamic Studies” and big, red, all-capital letters on the front page of my conference itinerary stated “Supporting Cultural Differences Through Research.” Fortunately, I left my nametag in the car and was able to somewhat hide my itinerary from view as I entered the 24-hour medical facility in Baton Rouge, Louisiana this past weekend. I did, however, somewhat stand out from the rest of the waiting room due to my light yellow button up shirt/baby blue tie/grey pinstripe suit combo. I was presenting my MA Research Project from AUP in an hour or two at a conference and Abbey was on day five of some kind of cough/cold/flu something or other. While I did little Research in the waiting room, I was implicitly “Supporting Cultural Differences,” as my booklet stated was my purpose in Louisiana. Abbey sat to my left filling out insurance forms as I keenly observed my surroundings while making sure the page numbers of my paper were in order.

So Began...

The Baton Rouge Waiting Room: A Play in One Act


Stage Right: Lady with ponytail and glasses reading insurance forms to her diminutive husband who was looking over her shoulder. Lady is noticeably agitated.

Agitated Lady: Did your employer send you to this clinic?
Husband: huh?
Agitated Lady (speaking louder and slower): Did the [expletive] you [expletive] work for [expletive] send your [expletive] to this [expletive]?!
Husband: Yeeuh
Agitated Lady: [Lords name [expletive] in vain] this [expletive] sheet says the same [expletive] [expletive] on each [expletive] page.

Enter Tommy’s Inner Monologue (TIM for Short) conversing with Tommy’s more impulsive inner monologue (TIMMY)

Tim: Don’t laugh, look down but keep listening, this is funny.
Timmy: Make eye contact, maybe she’ll cuss at you, that would be funnier.
Tim: Look down, don’t laugh.
Timmy: Point and laugh.
Tim: Don’t get involved
Timmy: Point and laugh…wait there’s something funny going on to your right, look there.

Shift to stage right-er where a bemoustached man is seated. Bemoustached gentleman has a camouflage hat on, a gray t-shirt with a pocket containing chewing tobacco, jeans, and cowboy boots. He is joined by another bemoustached gentleman who is wearing a similar outfit, though the shirt is button-up with horses galloping in front of American Flags. Bemoustached gentleman number two is carrying two coffee cups from the complimentary coffee station stage left, hands Bemoustached gentleman number one a cup

Bemoustached Gentleman Number Two: Hey man can I get a peeyinch?
Bemoustached Gentleman Number One: Here ya go buddy, what’s your name?
Tim: They don’t know each other?
Timmy: Point and laugh.
Tim: Ignore them.
Agitated Lady: [expletive] this [expletive] form, the [expletive] is too [expletive] long. What the [expletive] [expletive]
Husband: Uh huh.
Agitated Lady: [expletive] address? The [expletive] these [expletive] need your [expletive] boss’ [expletive] address the [expletive] for?
Timmy: Point and laugh.
Tim: Ignore everyone.
Timmy: Point and laugh a lot.
Receptionist: Carrico, Abbey

Abbey and Tommy hurriedly exit the waiting room.

End scene.