My Day in Court

UPDATE The following list of activities has resulted in my saving several hundred dollars on student fees this year as well as adding to my income the possibility of summer funding. SUCCESS!

Here is what happened when I attempted to complete the seemingly simple process of having a judge sign a sheet of paper that says I’ve lived in Georgia for one consecutive year:

9:55AM – arrive and deposit all my change into the parking meter in exchange for the legal right to occupy that space for one hour.

Enter courthouse.

Wait in security line.

Pass through metal detector, lift pant legs to show absence of shoe bombs. Proceed.

Go up wrong elevator in wrong tower to wrong floor 6.

Switch towers.

Go up two flights to correct floor 6 and ask nice lady at desk where I go to get my paper signed.

Am told that someone will be with me shortly.

Gentleman enters lobby.

Gentleman tells me that I must get one section notarized before a judge will sign. Notary Public in basement of this tower.

Descend to basement.

Pass sign that says “Snack Bar/Marriage and Gun licenses.”

Giggle.

Walk down hall.

Arrive in Sherriff’s office processing room.

Am told by an armed officer that I walked past the Notary Public Office.

Am led by said officer to the door marked “Notary Public” that I had walked past several seconds earlier.

Enter Notary Public’s office.

Present form.

Am told that there is a 2 dollar cash only exact change fee.

Leave Notary Public’s office to go find money, hopefully in my car.

Get lost attempting to exit building.

Get directions.

Take elevator to floor one where exit is located.

Powerwalk to the car.

Find one dollar in car.

Check Meter: 35 minutes remaining.

Walk Briskly down the street to CVS.

Buy pack of cinnamon chewing gum with debit card and request 5 dollars cash back in ones.

Walk briskly back to Courthouse.

Enter courthouse.

Wait in security line.

Pass through metal detector, lift pant legs to show absence of shoe bombs. Proceed.

Return to Notary Public’s office.

Have form notarized.

Pay two dollars.

Back to floor 6.

Receptionist picks up phone and says “The young man is back.”

Wait 7 minutes.

Gentleman emerges, takes my ID and forms and says the judge will be with me shortly.

I ask if wait will be longer than 15 minutes.

Gentleman goes through a door.

Wait 6 Minutes.

Gentleman reemerges. Instructs me to feed my meter, return to floor six, and sit in waiting area.

I notice I have no change for meter, only ones.

Descend elevator to Floor One.

Exit courthouse.

See sign on a shop across the street that says “Money Orders.”

Enter shop with “Money Orders” sign.

Man at counter says “Money Order?”

I respond “Can you change a dollar for my parking meter.”

Man says “Yes.”

Man hands me a dollar coin, assures me machine will take it.

Walk briskly to car.

See four minutes left on meter.

Machine takes dollar coin.

Meter now reads 44 minutes.

Walk briskly back to Courthouse.

Enter courthouse.

Wait in security line.

Pass through metal detector, lift pant legs to show absence of shoe bombs. Again. Proceed. Again.

Ascend to floor six. Again.

Receptionist picks up phone and says “The young man is back.” Again.

Receptionist instructs me to wait in the waiting area.

Text Abbey that this is getting ridiculous.

Wait 24 minutes.

Realize that there are 11 minutes left on my parking meter.

Bailiff comes in hallway and instructs me to enter.

Watch the end of a bond hearing for 4 minutes.

Am called by the judge to approach the podium.

Am asked why I need proof of residency.

Explain to judge the Southern Regional Educational Board’s Academic Common Market program.

Attempt not to look at my watch.

Am asked what program I will be enrolled in.

Answer the judge.

Attempt not to look at my watch.

Am asked if Candler School of Theology has that program.

Answer the judge that this consortium is state schools only and Emory is private.

Attempt not to look at my watch.

Am asked if Emory University’s religion department has this program.

Answer the judge that this consortium is state schools only and Emory is private.

Attempt not to look at my watch.

Am asked when this program starts.

Answer the judge.

Attempt not to look at my watch.

Am congratulated by the Judge.

Judge signs form.

Bailiff brings me form.

I thank Judge.

Walk briskly out of courtroom.

Run to elevator.

Enter elevator.

Elevator stops at floor 5.

Three people enter elevator.

They push buttons 4, 3, and 2.

Exit Floor One.

Walk briskly to exit.

Walk briskly towards parking lot.

Notice two parking attendants in parking lot.

Begin running.

Arrive at car and see 1 minute left on meter.

Success.

Thanks for reading.