Picking Up Heavy Things and Putting Them Back Down

To date I haven’t really delved into the intricate depths of meatheadedness on this blog. (note: meatheadedness refers broadly to actions and mannerisms typical of those who spend more time in a weight room than out of it (note: these folks are typically known as meatheads, hence, meatheadedness)) At least based on my experience last year, I don’t believe that this type of lifestyle has really caught on in France due to lack of space (referring both to real estate space for weight rooms and metro space for those attempting to get larger by picking up heavy things and putting them back down over and over again) as well as an overwhelming bounty of delicious pastries and vin rouge.

Before moving to Paris, I was able to lift some very heavy things and put them back down again without serious injury to myself and others. By November of 2009, French Tommy weighed in at about 20 pounds less than American Tommy – this was fine, French Tommy was never particularly unhealthy, but was no longer able to move around things that were much larger or heavier than what would fit in his purse. Upon returning to the land of the free and the home of the whopper French Tommy and his slenderfit jeans were surrounded by SUVs with flames on them and individuals who were much larger and more boisterous than the average French folk he had become accustomed to interacting with. In order to remedy this, upon moving back to Atlanta, reunited with an old friend and started the long trek back to picking up really heavy things once again.

The now somewhat hybrid American-French Tommy is almost able to move heavy things off and away from of his person at the same level as purely American Tommy and has begun engaging in what may be referred to as next-level meatheadery. Looking at options to tinker with some aspects of the art of heavystuff lifting, it seemed that chains or large elastic bands would be the most beneficial given AmeriFrench Tommy’s present state of physical fitness. Not wanting to end up on the wrong end of a 250 pound slingshot, AmeriFrench Tommy donned tight French jeans and a French button-up short-sleeved shirt and made the trek to quite an American establishment – Home Depot – in order to purchase large, heavy, loud chains to hang off of heavy things and pick up and put down several times. The bearded southern gentleman in charge of cutting said chains to a specific length stated “whatever you put these things on ain’t movin no where.” I assured him that was the opposite of the goal and went on my merry way.

After working out with the chains twice, and hanging various metal objects from the chains, they are incredible. As the bar lowers and the chains hanging from it also descend, more of the chain rests on the ground (and more of the heavy things hanging from the chain rest on the ground) causing the lower portion of the lift to be lighter than the “lockout” portion of the lift. This, in theory, will help train one to accelerate one’s motion more so at the bottom of the lift in order to get over “sticking points” (points in the motion where one is unable to move the weight – for AmeriFrench Tommy on the bench press this sticking point occurs approximately eight inches from his chest) and/or move beyond “plateaus” (when one is unable to increase the weight of a given exercise for some time). I am optimistic that the chains will achieve both goals and, if not, they are a lot of fun to play with. Many thanks to everyone who was in the NCAA bracket pool that AmeriFrench Tommy placed second in for donating to the slush fund from which money for these chains was taken.